Conflict Management within Family by Tyler Roden

Conflict Management within Family by Tyler Roden

When I was growing up a constant conflict I had to face was arguing with my brother, Todd. My brother, who is seven years older than me and more than twice my size, used to pick on me. We used to fight about everything: who got to ride in the front seat of the car, who mom “loved more”, and who was “adopted”.  This felt like a para-conflict since as a participant of the conflict I felt it was detrimental to our relationship. Viewing this conflict from the prospective approach my brother and I had conflicting goals which led to us exhibiting conflicting behavior (fighting one another). Seeing the conflict from a retrospective view people who might see my brother and me from a distance might say we were loving siblings but once meeting us could see that we had problems with one another. I think it was easiest to see my conflict by the destructive approach. My brother and I exhibited aggressive behavior because we viewed our conflicts from a win or lose perspective. If we had really wanted to solve our problems we would have taken a constructive approach by focusing on the issues that we could resolve easily, like who could sit in the front seat. Our conflict was continuous but my brother and I refused to view it as such. If we would have accepted our conflict as a “continuous phenomenon, conflict to be condition to be managed to be managed and maintained” we might have gotten along more.

References:

Hawes, L.C., & Smith, D. H. (1973). A critique of assumptions underlying the study of communication in conflict. Quarterly Journal of Speech, 59, 425.

Ariya Fuentes: Conflict Management within a family

Growing up conflict was most present as I was being a typical attitude filled teenage girl in high school. After our disputes, my mother and I would usually go our separate ways in order to cool off and avoid an even bigger argument. Around this time, I was quite good at avoiding conflict with my mom. On occasion there was shouting when our attempts at differentiation wouldn’t go as planned. As I grew older I learned to control the differentiation process. I was slowly able to see my mother’s side of every argument and our communication as well as our relationship grew stronger. Once I matured, conflict within my family was seldom, but when my family realizes that a conflict is forming, we are able to differentiate our positions clearly and fairly quickly. With that being said, our conflicts were usually resolved through compromises and humor. When we would work out compromises, we would make sure that the rules to the compromise were clear so that there would be no miscommunication or possibility of regression. Often we laugh at ourselves and each other rather than get increasingly agitated, which could potentially add fuel to the fire. Along with that, we bring up past situations that once had us all frustrated for a trivial reason and we laugh at them. We even come up with nicknames when someone does something “wrong” and gets into a conflict with our mom as a way to tease that person about what they did. When we turn our differences into something to laugh about, it shows that we have moved past it and that is something that I really enjoy about my family.

Conflict Management within Family: by Rachel Schumpert

My father and I typically agree on most political and social issues, but one night last semester we entered a true conflict when I expressed a view that he did not support.  While watching the Miss Universe pageant, I loved that Miss USA wanted to use her platform as the possible next Miss Universe to bring equal opportunity to women all over the world.  I believe that from a global standpoint, women are highly discriminated against and do not receive the same opportunities that men do.  My father and I are very open about discussing political issues, so I didn't think anything of bringing up this issue with him and where I stood.  Much to my surprise however, he strongly disagreed with me and it became a huge issue between us.  He accused me of becoming a "radical feminist" and said that the reason women are not given opportunities is because they simply are not capable of doing certain physical job duties that men can.  I raised the point that this is an issue far wider than just physical duties and we went on for about an hour arguing.  This conflict ended up lasting far longer than I expected, and for about a week me and my dad did not talk very much.  I can't say that we ever really resolved the conflict, it pretty much just dissolved away.  In Parents and Adolescents in Conflict by Raymond Montemayor, a generational gap is most often the reason for arising conflict between parents and kids.  This type of conflict is called generational conflict and happens when two different generations disagree on certain things because of common beliefs and values of their generation.  My father is a baby boomer and is very skeptical of feminists, so when I brought up this issue, we definitely had a generational conflict.  

References:

Montemayor, Raymond. "Parents and Adolescents in Conflict: All Families Some of the Time and Some Families Most of the Time." Journal of Early Adolescence 3 (1983): 83-103. Web. 28 Feb. 2016.

Blog #3: Communication & Conflict Management by: Megan Wright

 

Blog #3:

 

My family and I rarely have conflict, I have lucked out in having very wonderful and supportive parents, but like most families we have had our ups and downs. I think how we handled our family conflicts truly shows our family dynamic, but there has been times we may have shown our true colors. It seemed as though as I got older and started working, along with my parents working in more demanding and stressful roles, that is what was causing our conflicts. My dad is one to bring his work issues home, and not be able to let go of stress or frustration very easy. My mom is one to bottle her work frustrations up until something at home makes her boil over, in which then it is a combination of the two. I personally love to talk out my work place frustrations with my parents, but as I begin to vent I get more worked up about the work issue than I had been in the actual situation. These three different ways of handling work conflict in our home, then trickles down and causes family conflict as well. Especially in our different roles in our family, it is only the three of us so my mom stands as the stoic leader, my dad the goofy fun loving role, and me the understanding and calm family member. When one of us is experiencing conflict in work, and we bring it home and cause conflict at home it causes a rift in roles. In the article, “Differences in the Outcomes of Work and Family Conflict Between Family- and Nonfamily Businesses: An Examination of Business Founders”, it discussed the importance of these roles in conflict stating, “there will be challenges in meeting unmet role expectations and responsibilities, which result in interrole conflict.” For example, my family and I planned a nice family dinner, my dad came home that day from work fuming with conflict with his boss. He could not shake that conflict, and that caused my mom and I to have conflict with him for not being able to shake off his anger and enjoy our plans. He took on a new role from his usual goofy self, and we were not happy with it. This then transitions into how we are going to solve our family conflict caused by work conflict. The book mentions, how to evaluate some conflict is the solutions that come afterwards, and luckily after about 20 minutes of a fit, my parents and I were able to settle the work inspired family conflict and have a lovely family night out.

 

Citation:

Carr, J.C, & Hmeileski, K.M. (2015). Differences in the Outcomes of Work and Family Conflict Between Family- and Nonfamily Businesses: An Examination of Business Founders. Entrepreneurship: Theory & Practice, 39(6), 1413-1432. Doi:10.1111/etap.12174

Transference in TV Shows: By Rachel Schumpert

Transference Leadership: Greys Anatomy

In Greys Anatomy, transference leadership can be seen when analyzing Dr. Webber's relationship with his interns.  Dr. Webber is an older middle age man who was the chief of Seattle Grace Hospital for most of the show.  Although he does not have any kids with his wife, he had an affair with Ellis Grey, one of the intern's, Meredith's, mother.  When Meredith was growing up, her father was not in the picture, so Dr. Webber took on a father figure role for most of her life.  When Meredith started interning at Seattle Grace, there was a transference of the father figure relationship she had with Webber, who was now her boss.  Although this leadership style did somewhat help Meredith, it also hurt her in the sense that there was a slight conflict of interest when Webber had to choose between the interns for certain surgeries and promotions.  The transference of Dr. Webber's father like leadership was not just present with Meredith, but with all of the interns in her class.  They all looked up to him for knowledgable advice and stories from his past.  He mentored them and took care of them the way of father takes care of his own, so it was very clear that the transference relationship effected all of the doctors.

Transference (Blog #2) By: Ariya Fuentes

This past week, I was finally called back after applying to many jobs around college station. It wasn’t anywhere fancy or easy, but a job is a job and I need money.  I go to my first interview and notice that the GM who was interviewing me reminded me of my hometown. I realize now that it may have pushed me, even more so, to prove that I was worthy of the job. As the interview continued I find out that he is from my hometown and he has family that lives there now. Now if that wasn’t enough, the GM had the same name as my uncle and looked very similar to him. Immediately I felt at ease because my uncle is a very kind and soft spoken man. We concluded the interview and I was hired on the spot. Since then, I have worked Saturday and Sunday and im noticing that I feel a sense of parental guidance when he constructively criticizes me. Considering transference, I would say that this came from me calling my uncle “dad” as a joke because I was always over playing with my cousin. Along with that, I didn’t have a father figure growing up and this may have led to me considering my uncle a father figure that cared about me.. You can see how this would ignite transference in our employee/boss relationship. When he tells me what to do I don’t take it in a bossy way, I see it more as my uncle trying to help me better myself as well as the team. With that being said, I am hoping to keep this job for as long as possible, as well as keeping a positive transference with my manager and coworkers.

Transference in Modern Family

By: Daren Bradshaw

There are many TV shows that demonstrate transference in a variety of ways. One show that I felt this was obvious in was Modern Family. Phil likes to see himself as the “cool” Dad.  A dedicated family man; he always teases his wife Claire and constantly try to find ways to bond with his three kids. Phil uses a parenting method that he refers to as peerenting, a combination of talking like a peer but acting like a parent. Throughout the show this style of leadership gets his kids to not only relate to him but ultimately get everyone marching to the same beat. Phil always attends all of his kids schooling and sporting events to cheer them on and supports them. He knows that his all of his kids look up to him as a dad. In his words, “If my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a Dad.” For example, when his daughter Haley wants to have her boyfriend Dylan move in, he helps to convince Claire (Mom) to allow it. Shortly after Dylan moves in, Phil realizes that he hates the situation and can’t take it anymore. Phil then tries to convince Claire to kick Dylan out so he can remain the cool Dad. This is just one of many examples of Phil trying to be more like a brother then a Dad when it comes to his kids. Ultimately, Phil just wants them all to like him even if it means sometimes letting them run the show.

Transference in TV Shows By: Tyler Roden

Transference in The Big Bang Theory

There are a couple of examples of transference relationships that can be observed in the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. Howard Wolowitz’s father left him when he was only eleven years old, this resulted in Howard growing extremely attached to his overbearing and overweight mother. Their relationship thrived off of how much they both liked how they were needed by the other. In the beginning of the series Howard is constantly seeking out women to date; these attempts usually end in failure. You could analyze this and see his need for a woman in his life is because he cannot function properly without someone to boss him around. Recently in the series Howard has married Bernadette. Howard sees similarities between his mother and Bernadette and transfers the relationship dynamics he had with his mother onto his marriage. Another example of transference in The Big Bang Theory is Sheldon Cooper and Professor Proton. Growing up in Texas Sheldon felt unappreciated by his family because of his superior intelligence. In season 6 Sheldon explains how much he enjoyed watching Professor Proton’s show growing up, feeling that he was the only one who would understand him. Even after the Professor’s death Sheldon often envisions his ghost whenever he is in a dilemma. He needs the advice of the Professor in all things like how to live his life or whether or not he should have coitus with his girlfriend. Sheldon’s constant need for him and transference as a motherly figure always seems to be an inconvenience for the ghost Professor Proton.

Transference in TV Shows (Blog #2) Lauren Duncan

Transference in Gossip Girl

When I tried to think of a TV show that represented transference between various characters, "Gossip Girl" immediately came to mind. Gossip Girl is a TV show that is home to many privileged young adults who live in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Gossip Girl, a mysterious blogger that the show is centered around takes turns revealing secrets that are undoubtedly meant to destroy ones reputation and sanity. Transference can be see in this show as each character at some point and time gets behind the computer screen and becomes the blogger themselves. This blog can be see as a boss in the workplace so to speak, and the characters become so invested in the blog that they are willing to do just about anything to get their hands on it and begin the destruction of revealing one's most private secrets. Each character that takes part in this blog views this creation as a friend, something they can count on and find pleasure in. Much of the damage that is produced in this blog, is a root of the problems that many individuals in this show face. For example, many have home lives that have caused them great stress and damage to their well being. For instance, one of the main characters named Dan (who we later find out was the creator of this blog) struggled with self esteem issues and doubting who he was as a person. As a result, he found meaning through this blog, despite the damaging effects that would later haunt him. I believe this show does a very well job of expressing that transference can be found in something as small as a blog and the people who post material to it. Feelings from the past can follow us not only into the workplace, but into our personal lives as well. 

Blog #2: Transference in TV Shows by Megan Wright

Megan Wright

 

Transference in The Office

 

When I thought of a TV show that showcased Sigmund Freud’s idea of transference, my mind immediately went to the show The Office. I think there are multiple examples of transference within this show, some that change as time goes on and some that remain the same relationship even until the very last episode. Transference is a dynamic that can be found in the workplace where an individual could be linking feelings from their past to their current boss or fellow employees. In my example in The Office, I will be relating the relationship between Dunder Mifflin boss Michael Scott and Assistant to the Regional Manager Dwight Schrute. Dwight Schrute sees his boss Michael Scott as a father figure, which is apparent very early on in the first season of the show. It is never outwardly spoken why Dwight sees Michael in this light, but it is clear that Dwight would literally do anything for Michael and on many occasions did. In one episode, for example, Dwight Schrute gets the idea to try and go behind Michael’s back and attempt to steal Michael’s job, in turn Michael finds out and interrogates Dwight until he cracks. When given punishment, Dwight pled Michael that he would do anything for him, and quickly abandons his idea of taking the job he believes he deserves in order to not upset or disappoint Michael. That is merely just one example of how the plot of the show that display the father son relationship of Michael and Dwight. Some other characteristics that Dwight exhibits that lead you to believe he sees Michael as a father figure is through his urge to impress Michael, his mimicry of Michael during leadership, and his constant goal to defend Michael. Although in the end (spoiler alert), Michael comes back as Dwight’s best man in his wedding and they remain close, throughout the episodes you can see that Dwight did anything and everything for Michael, and didn’t really receive the credit. Even though this is a comedic TV show, it does make a point to show the negative relationship that transference can promote between an employee and a boss represented through a father and son type relationship.

Power & Influence: President John F. Kennedy, By: Ariya Fuentes

America’s youngest president to take office was also a leader many consider as one of the most loved presidents. His young age as well as his beautiful family brought a youthful quality into the white house. At 43 years old John F. Kennedy was already capturing the democratic voters attention with his good looks and relaxed style. Despite his lack of experience, he won the election and faced challenges with Cuba as well as the spread of communism. JFK helped teach and inspire Americans to help each other as well as others. One of his most popular foreign policy actions was the Peace Corps. This sent volunteers ranging anywhere from doctors,nurses, and  entrepreneurs to underdeveloped countries in need of their assistance.  It is highly unlikely that these volunteers would have gone to a foreign country to help those in need, had it not been for this foreign policy. JFK was guiding America towards a leader-follower relationship by working together in order to attain a goal. The goal at the time being a halt on the spread of communism. JFK also made the decision to send offensive weapons to Cuba after the Russians set up missile sites in Cuba. This caused Russia to retract their threat and agree to peace. His decision to stand by his army and show that America will not be threatened was a brave yet worrisome act. Not only was he interested in sceesing the spread of communism, but he had a passion for a civil rights bill as well. Despite his young age relative to his predecessors, he managed to become on of the most memorable presidents due in part by his willingness to move America forward and his longing for progress in the United States.

Power and Influence: George H.W. Bush, By: Lauren Duncan

George H.W. Bush has made a lasting impact on the United States of America, and a place near and dear to our hearts; College Station, Texas. Bush was known to be one of the most qualified candidates to run for office during his time. Many of his qualifications revolved around the power and influence he had the ability of incorporating into leading our nation. He learned much about what it meant to lead a country as he served as a the vice president prior to becoming the president of the United States. Bush focused his presidency on the traditional American values that have been set forth by our ancestors, and I truly believe he gained a great deal of respect from his followers in doing so. For instance, he was passionate about the people our country is made up of, and he wanted to treat everyone with the upmost respect despite their race, religion, and/or ethnicity. Some say it best when they state Bush was a man who was focused on making the U.S. a "kinder and gentler nation" (whitehouse.gov). In addition to serving our country as president, George H.W. Bush has played a big part on A&M's very own campus. Bush was approached not long after his term ended by members of the university and was asked if he'd have his presidential library located on A&M's campus. The George H.W. Bush Library is an incredible sight to see and it has become one of most intriguing parts of our campus. As you can see, this man proved to Aggies all around the world that he was worthy of holding such a special piece of A&M's campus, and for that he will always be at the core of our university. This man is someone who truly practiced what he preached, giving him the ability to maintain power over our country and influence people all over the world in the most positive and endearing ways.

Power and Influence

Franklin D. Roosevelt

By: Daren Bradshaw

 

There have been many Presidents through our countries great history to use a variety of leadership styles to achieve what they thought was best for our country at that point in time. All Presidents had power, but in a lot of cases it was more legitimate power due to the positions that they held. There are few Presidents in our Nation’s history that not only had great power but were also great leaders. One of those Presidents was Franklin D. Roosevelt. President Roosevelt led this nation through some of the toughest times in its entire existence. He led them through the Great Depressions and World War II, both which our Nation was triumphant in overcoming the adversity at hand. Of course he, like all other Presidents had legitimate power but that wasn’t enough to accomplish what he did during his time in office. Roosevelt also demonstrated referent power as well as expert power which allowed him to persuade a nation due to his experience and how much everyone admired him. When he was diagnosed with polio it only strengthened his power in the political system in the eyes of the people. They felt they could relate to him as he appeared to be human just like them, which allowed him to be very successful in politics. During his time President Roosevelt was able to implement economic reform policies such as the New Deal which would change the frame work of our country for years to come. Roosevelt was also in office during the bombing of Pearl Harbor where he made the executive decision to enter World War II. These are just a few of the many great things that Roosevelt did during his time in office all of which exemplify his power and influence.

Power and Influence: Ronald Reagan, by Rachel Schumpert

Power and Influence:

How Ronald Reagan used Power and Influence to change America

by:  Rachel Schumpert

Ronald Reagan was arguably one of the best Presidents that America has ever seen.  He used his power and influence to bring back conservative republican ideas into the White House.  Part of what made Reagan such an influential president, was his ability to speak to the people of America.  In almost every single public speaking class, you will probably view one of the many addresses that Reagan made to the people about various crisis' that took place while he was in office.  He had a way of communicating with the people that made them feel comfortable, and at ease.  He strategically used his power and position as leader of the free world, to make sure that during the Cold War, America trusted him and believed in his ideas and strategies.  Through Reagan's direction, the Cold War finally came to an end, and many people believe that he was to thank for that.  In fact, Reagan influenced the people so positively on Republican ideals, that America elected to keep a Republican in office from 1980, when Reagan was inaugurated, to 1992 when Bill Clinton took office, George Bush being elected after Reagan.  To this day, Republicans running for president use a personal comparison to Reagan to win voters over.  Ronald Reagan was an excellent example of how a leader can use his power to effectively solve problems and inspire his followers.  Ronald Reagan will always be remembered as the president who turned this country around by using a relateable, grandfather-like approach to leadership.  

Power & Influence

The Presidents of the United States

 

Megan Wright:

In honor of President Abraham Lincoln’s birthday this week, I decided to focus on President Lincoln’s power and influence as a leader during his presidency. President Lincoln is considered one of the greatest presidents of all time, this recognition coming from his use of speech. As the 16^th president, Abraham Lincoln came into presidency at a very volatile time. A time when war broke out within the nation, and when a true leader was needed. President Lincoln used his speech to gain the respect and admiration from his followers, but it was in a very different way than what had been seen during this time. This is what brought popularity to his ways of leadership during his presidency. He was a very powerful speaker, but he spoke in a very basic and rather simple manor. He wrote his speeches for the masses to understand, therefore there was no miscommunication, and no words that were not received due to a lack of understanding of them. As it says in LCP, “The key is to adopt the appropriate style for the situation” (p. 145). President Lincoln aimed to do just that, he knew what he wanted to say and how to effectively say it that would influence a widespread amount of people in any given situation.  The style in which he spoke is what made him a powerful and influential leader. It was shown that along with having legitimate power, in the position of President of the United States, President Lincoln didn’t rest on that as President. He used his leadership skills, channeled them through his speeches to gain even more power throughout his Presidency.

Power & Influence

The Presidents of the United States

Tyler Roden:

The 15^th President of the United States, James Buchanan, is considered one of the worst presidents in U.S. history. James Buchanan was able to fool the American public in the Election of 1857 into believing that he could be the president they needed to mend the friction their country was dealing with. James Buchanan developed a reputation for being a powerful speaker, which is the reason he rose to power. By possessing powerful speech techniques Buchanan was able to suggest to the people of the United States that he would be a powerful leader as well. Buchanan also had a deceivingly powerful stature, being 6 feet tall with broad shoulders. Buchanan had legitimate power, which resides in the position rather than in the person, but did not have the leadership skills to back up that power. James Buchanan is now known for how we handled (did not handle) conflict. His leadership style could be considered Laissez-Faire, he constantly avoided issues concerning slavery and the conflicts with Mormons in the west and he avoided interaction with the general public. Seven states seceded from the Union due to the president’s inability to bring resolution to the growing tension. Buchanan is often considered a major catalyst that broke the nation in half and started the Civil War. What we can learn from James Buchanan is that no matter how well you look on paper or how much power you seem to exude, if you do not have the proper leadership skills and techniques to lead your followers towards success then you will also fail.