Conflict Styles in When Harry Met Sally by: Tyler Roden

Conflict Styles in When Harry Met Sally 

by: Tyler Roden

When Harry Met Sally is a great romantic comedy starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan about two friends who keep running into each other and eventually fall in love. The conflict management style that can be observed in this movie is the avoiding style. Dale Eilerman defined avoidance as “when a person knows there is a conflict but decides not to deal with it by ignoring, sidestepping, being non-committal or withdrawing from the issue or interaction.” In the movie when the characters, Harry and Sally, realize that they are attracted to each other they decide to avoid the subject and date other people instead of acting on their attraction. This is the protecting style of avoiding since both parties do whatever they can to avoid the issue. Later in the movie Harry and Sally have sex and both agree it was a mistake rather than talk it out. Eventually the two have too much pent up aggression about the situation and have a huge argument at a wedding. This is an example of how using the avoiding style to manage conflict can make the issues fester and result in destructive consequences. The couple starts to avoid having any interaction with each other. Their friends try to convince them of the mistakes they’ve made but Harry and Sally refuse to listen. At a New Year’s Eve party Harry tells Sally that he loves her and the two kiss and reconcile. If the couple had chosen a different conflict management style from the beginning they might have been together a lot longer.

Work Cited:

Eilerman, Dale. "The Use and Misuse of an Avoiding Style in Conflict Management." Mediate. Resourceful Internet Solutions, Inc., September 2006. Web. 07 March 2016.