Daren Bradshaw - Blog #5

Humor in Every Day Life

 

For my last blog I was really unsure what to write about to be honest. After contemplating for a while I decided to do another on humor, except this time it was not about my favorite comedian it is simply about humor as it relates to life. Humor is thought to be a fundamental, intrinsic part of human nature, experienced in nearly every type of interpersonal relationship and having a far-reaching impact on daily life (Lefcourt, 2001; Martin, 2007). Having said that, it seems as though it would be easy to relate it to everyday life in more ways than one. Humor helps in times of stress and anxiety by lightening the mood of different situations. Humor can bring individual together in times of conflict or just difficult times in general. For example, as discussed in class, the nonviolent movement used humor to combat its violent opponent time and time again. Not only was the group successful in achieving their goal they simultaneously made the aggressive bad guys look flat out silly. The use of humor made it hard for their opponents to even reply much less retaliate. I decided to do a survey amongst family and friends asking them if they had ever used humor to lighten the mood of two different types of situations. Of the 8 people that I surveyed all but one had said they used humor to combat two totally different situations. Most of them even stated that they reacted with humor without even thinking about it. This just goes to show that this is something that comes natural to a lot of people. Sure everyone might have a different sense of humor but in the end it always seems to have a positive result on whatever the situation is at hand.

 

People Surveyed

Alex Solis, Phil Bradshaw, Joe Bider, Debbie Bradshaw, Rachael Goebel, Sam Price, Justin Woodall and Patrick Turner.

 

References

Lefcourt, H. M. (2001). Humor: The psychology of living buoyantly. New York, NY: Kluwer Academic. 10.1007/978-1-4615-4287-2

Martin, R. (2007). The psychology of humor: An integrative approach. New York, NY: Academic Press.

Lauren Duncan Blog #5 Bisociation-Displacement Model

Lauren Duncan

Bisociation-Displacement Model Applied To My Personal Life 

Marianella Sclavi states, “I suggest the theoretical underpinnings of a model for approaching conflict in which displacements and surprise, playfulness, humor and “punch lines” can serve to reframe issues and open up avenues for consensus building and resolution.”  The bisociation-displacement model can be applied to the conflicts that take place in our personal lives today. This model serves as a way to determine others views and opinions that arise in conflicts found between you and the other party. It also aids as a way to find humor in even the hardest of circumstances. In fact, Gregory Bateson states, “Establishing a play frame promotes a congenial atmosphere of happiness, lightness, even laughter.” An example of a conflict that has taken place in my own life that is a replication of this is a fight that took place between my best friend and I. She went to college at Texas Tech and recently graduated this past December. Time flew by and I never made it to Tech to visit her, this obviously making her very upset as she’d been to College Station twice to see me. Long story short, we experienced adversarial and collaborative frames throughout the process. I took the collaborating stand and wanted Megan to eventually adopt to that idea as well. It took time and consideration, but she finally agreed to look past it and move on with our friendship. When adopting this model in the conflict we experienced, we found that all emotions are good, even those that may appear to be negative at first glance. Whether it was anger or agreeing on something, we found that emotions on both spectrums aided in the evaluation of our conflict. In addition, accepting displacement in this instance (for me this was accepting that I’d made a mistake by never visiting her, and for her it was learning to forgive me) actually helped us each see eye to eye and come to a resolution. As you can see, the bisociation-displacement model is truly something we can learn a lot from and utilize in our personal lives.

Reference:

Sclavi, M. (2008), The Role of Play and Humor in Creative Conflict Management. Negotiation Journal, 24: 157–180. 

Daren Bradshaw Blog #4

Humor- Favorite Comedian

By: Daren Bradshaw

 

In class this week we discussed humor and its implications on the work environment as well how humor can be used in a variety of ways in a positive way. For this blog we decided to do it on our favorite comedian given that when it comes to humor, comedians know it best. For my favorite comedian I decided to use Eddie Murphy. I know most of the student in the class are probably too young to remember Eddie Murphy raw. However, growing up this is what I knew as stand-up comedy. Eddie Murphy used a humor to relate to everyday life situations. What made it so funny is that the reference to everyday life were accurate for the most part and though the humor side of it was funny it was also very true. There are many different types of humor, all of which have their own time and place for. Having said that all forms of humor are not necessarily a good thing in certain situations. For example, in conflict you do not want to use aggressive and self-defeating humor as these could cause the conflict to escalate. Humor should be used to lighten the mood especially in the midst of conflict. If you were to be aggressive or talk down to another employee when a conflict already exists, you will do nothing but make the situation worse. Instead one should use affiliative or self-enhancing humor in these types of situations. Rarely is aggressive anything good when it comes to resolving a conflict that exists.

References

Foster, Dean. “The Serious Business of BEING FUNNY Across Cultures.” Toastmaster. Feb2016, Vol. 82 Issue 2, p16-19. 4p.

Campbell, Lorne, and Sarah Moroz. "Humour Use Between Spouses and Positive and Negative Interpersonal Behaviours During Conflict." Europe’s Journal of Psychology Eur. J. Psychol.10.3 (2014): 532-42. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.

 

Blog #5: Humor

I don't watch much comedy, but when I do, Chelsea Handler is my favorite.  Her type of humor is so aggressive and fearless that you can't help but to laugh.  Chelsea has a very carefree attitude when it comes to her comedy.  She uses aggressive humor to make fun of fellow celebrities and it is very clear that she does not care what other people think.  The reason I love Chelsea Handler so much is because her jokes fall under a more sarcastic humor that makes you tilt your head a little bit before you actually get it.  Other comedians may use very cheesy jokes to get their point across, but that has never been Chelsea's style.  She typically sticks to the form of humor that we learned in class, something that makes you take a step back and look from a different perspective.  From Valdosta University, Eric Romero says that "When aggressive humor is utilized to ridicule and manipulate in a malicious manner, it will likely undermine relationships."  Aggressive humor is the most negative out of the four types.  Chelsea has such a close knit group of best friends who are fellow comedians, that she feels no guilt making extremely negative remarks about people because in the end, it is all for fun.  I surveyed 7 of my close friends and after explaining to them what each type of humor means, I had them tell me which style they find the most amusing.  They all said either aggression or self defeating, but for the same reasons.  These two types are the funniest if and only if the comedian is obviously very self confident and does not feel an obligation to please people.

References:
Romero, Eric J. "The Use of Humor in the Workplace." Academy of Management Perspectives 20.2 (2006): 58-69. 2006. Web. 11 Apr. 2016.

People surveyed: Taylor Benton, Bryce Barham, Samantha Savage, Maty Cumberland, Amanda Barletta, Kailey Burrows, Kelli Franks

Favorite Comedian (Blog #5)

When it comes to comedians, I don’t have the slightest problem picking my favorite. Dave Chappelle has shown me a side of comedy that doesn’t need to be fully based on inappropriate jokes in order to get people to laugh. I love Dave Chappelle’s work because not only does he make his audience laugh, but he also wants them to think beyond the surface. He wants them to understand his underlying message. Immanuel Kant, a German Philosopher, described humor as "...the talent of being able to put oneself at will into a certain frame of mind in which everything is judged in unusual (even opposite) ways, yet in accordance with particular principles of reason that characterize this frame of mind". I believe that Dave Chappelle possess this talent by getting his audience to think about political and social issues using his comedy. While he still gets a laugh out of everyone, the sketches he does will stick with people and they could possibly have been shown a new view by watching his comedy. In his sketch titled “Black Bush”, he combines president Bush with a stereotypical African-American. Chappelle does an excellent job at being absurd in this sketch by highlighting what many Americans were thinking, as well as other countries, when Bush wanted to go to war with Iraq. Chappelle made Black Bush incongruous by making him vulgar and African American. At this time there had yet to be a black president, let alone a vulgar one, so this was not congruent with how Americans envisioned their presidents. With that being said, I feel that Dave Chappelle does a great job using humor.

Blog #5 Humor by Tyler Roden

Humor- Favorite Comedian

By: Tyler Roden

In class we learned that humor is a great way to manage conflict in an office setting and in our everyday lives. Certain types of humor can be used in a positive way to manage the conflict and others “can be used in a negative fashion; for instance, more aggressive forms of teasing – such as ridicule, intimidation, or manipulation – may be used in an attempt to discredit the partner’s arguments or feelings.” (Campbell 533) I interviewed Heather Roden, the former Director of Day Surgery at Scott & White Hospital, about how she felt about using humor to diffuse conflicts when she was in her leadership position and she said “I feel that there is a time and place to use humor. I think it really just depends on the circumstances, sometimes humor can be utilized and other times humor could make it seem that you do not understand the seriousness of the situation.” (Roden) 

There are four different types of humor: affiliative, self-enhancing, aggressive, and self-defeating. Affiliative and self-enhancing are the best types to use and aggressive and self-defeating are the worst to use to manage conflicts. My favorite comedian is John Mulaney, if I had to put his comedic style into one type of humor it would probably be self-defeating. Mulaney often makes himself the butt of most of his jokes. Mulaney often makes fun of his own stature and awkwardness. If he was in a position of power his humor might help him manage conflicts but if he was not in power his humor might discredit himself or his work. 

References:

Roden, Heather. Personal Interview. 10 April 2016.

Campbell, Lorne, and Sarah Moroz. "Humour Use Between Spouses and Positive and Negative Interpersonal Behaviours During Conflict." Europe’s Journal of Psychology Eur. J. Psychol.10.3 (2014): 532-42. Web. 10 Apr. 2016.

Lauren Duncan - Humor Blog #4

Lauren Duncan

Humor - Favorite Comedian

In an article written titled Use of Humor as a Coping Mechanism Psychological Adjustment, and Social Interaction two researchers state, "In contemporary society the world over, humor and laughter are frequently presumed to be means people can use to cope with life's difficulties. One of my all time favorite comedians that embodies this idea is Kevin Hart. He is well known by people all around the world, and at best it can be said that he is someone who can truly make you laugh and feel good inside. Not only is Kevin a comedian, he has starred in many popular movies throughout the years. For instance, you may have seen him in "The Wedding Ringer" or "Ride Along." In analyzing Kevin Hart, I have realized that he matches up with many of the concepts we are currently learning in class. I believe Kevin represents both affiliative and aggressive humor roles. In many of his shows, he is strictly attempting to make the crowd laugh to the point of tears, however many critics can claim that he can be quite aggressive and crude from time to time. I truly believe that the styles of humor that he enacts depend on the audience he is performing for and what he believes is appropriate for that particular crowd. In addition, he often uses humor to solve conflicts that arrive in his own personal life. I've often thought that maybe his humor helps not only his audience, but it also helps him cope with the stress he personally endures in life. Kevin Hart is a comedian who truly embodies the idea of helping people cope with the difficulties that we are faced with, and for that, he is my all time favorite comedian.

Nezlek, John B. and Peter Derks. "Use of humor as a coping mechanism, psychological adjustment, and social interaction" Humor - International Journal of Humor Research, 14.4 (2006): 395-413. Retrieved 11 Apr. 2016

Blog #5: Favorite Comedians

Blog #5: Humor

My favorite comedian right now is Amy Schumer. I like her use of aggressive and self-defeating humor, and although these two types of humor are sometimes found to be negative, I enjoy stand-up that pulls from these humor categories. Amy is an extremely popular comedian right now, especially after her movie Trainwreck, but even though she is really popular she does get some heat from people who do not like her rather vulgar jokes that are shown through aggressive and self-defeating humor. As much as I want to argue with those who don’t like her, I decided to take a step back, and remove my bias of liking her as a comedian, and see what does go wrong with aggressive and self-defeating humor (when it’s not making you cry from laughing). In one article I read, it brings up the point about when a significant other uses these two more negative types of humor, it can put a strain on their relationship and affect the other person. When I thought about this personally, I did realize that this type of humor can really come off offensive and cruel, and even though I think it is funny when Amy Schumer uses it, if my boyfriend chose to, I would be taken aback. They go on to say that their study on the negative types of humor, “…indicated that individuals who reported using more aggressive humor were more likely to have partners who were embarrassed by them.” (Masui, 2016) I would never want to embarrass my significant other through my humor, because I think humor is a trait that a lot of people fall in love with about a person, it would be a shame for that to be a downfall in a relationship. Not only has my research shown me that these two types of negative humor causes a rift in romantic relationships, it can also cause issues personally, “a detrimental effect on well-being when a maladaptive style (self-defeating, aggressive) was higher”. (Maiolino, 2016) Knowing that these types of humor can affect my well-being is a big concern. I don’t think I will stop enjoying Amy Schumer’s work, but knowing these studies and being more aware how humor effects your life on a wider scale imagined will be helpful.

I also decided that the Humor blog would be a good opportunity to interview a leader. I chose to interview one of the officers in my women’s organization. I chose Lynsey because I find her quite humorous but she is also a powerful leader for the group of women in my organization. We discussed what category of humor she relates with and if she found that type of humor was positive in her leadership role. I felt her answer nicely represented the flip side of what I have discussed earlier in my blog, the positive side of humor and how it can help us in our daily lives. Her answer was as followed:

“I think that I would identify with the self-enhancing category of humor. I like to use the hardships that us college students go through every day to lighten the mood at serious meetings. We are all busy, struggling with schedules and classes, and juggling school and social lives, I find it something that we all have in common that we can turn into a joke that we can laugh about. I think it really helps with bonding, when girls in our organization can connect over something stressful in their life through joking about it. I like to use this style as a leader, and be a help to the girls to make them laugh and de-stress.”

Work Cited:

Maiolino, Nadia, and Nick Kuiper. “Examining the Impact of A Brief Humor Exercise on Psychological Well-Being.” Translational Issues in Psychological Science 2.1 (2016): 4-13. PsychINFO. Web. 10 Apr. 2016

Masui, Keita, and Mitsuhiro Ura. “Aggressive Humor Style and Psychopathy: Moderating Effects of Childhood Socioeconomic Status.” Translational Issues in Psychological Science 2.1 (2016): 4-13. PsychINFO. Web. 10 Apr. 2016

Conflict Styles

Daren Bradshaw

 

Blog #3 

 

Conflict Styles in Romantic Comedies

 

 

There are so many movies that show all different types of conflict styles and alternate ways to handle certain situations. For my movie I choose Failure to Launch, a romantic comedy about a thirty-something year old slacker that suspects his parents of setting him up with his dream girl so he'll finally vacate their home. The movie is full of different types of conflict not just between him and his parents, but between him and the woman that he “thinks” he loves. For example, when Matthew McConaughey comes home and his dad has turned his bed room into the “naked room”. He is upset while simultaneously being puzzled as to why his dad need a “naked” room.  In the movie you see him handle this in an avoidance style of handling the conflict. This is when you simply avoid the issue.  You aren’t helping the other party reach their goals, and you aren’t assertively pursuing your own. Another instance of a conflict style in this movie is when he finds out that his parents paid Sarah Jessica Parker to be his girlfriend to get him to finally spread his wings. When this happens he initially plays it cool as if nothing were wrong, eventually erupting and giving into his parent wishes. Though it doesn’t appear to be I feel that this is somewhat a compromise. This is a “lose-lose” scenario where neither party really achieves what they want.  This requires a moderate level of assertiveness and cooperation. These are just a few examples of conflict styles in this movie that really stood out to me.

Conflict Styles in When Harry Met Sally by: Tyler Roden

Conflict Styles in When Harry Met Sally 

by: Tyler Roden

When Harry Met Sally is a great romantic comedy starring Billy Crystal and Meg Ryan about two friends who keep running into each other and eventually fall in love. The conflict management style that can be observed in this movie is the avoiding style. Dale Eilerman defined avoidance as “when a person knows there is a conflict but decides not to deal with it by ignoring, sidestepping, being non-committal or withdrawing from the issue or interaction.” In the movie when the characters, Harry and Sally, realize that they are attracted to each other they decide to avoid the subject and date other people instead of acting on their attraction. This is the protecting style of avoiding since both parties do whatever they can to avoid the issue. Later in the movie Harry and Sally have sex and both agree it was a mistake rather than talk it out. Eventually the two have too much pent up aggression about the situation and have a huge argument at a wedding. This is an example of how using the avoiding style to manage conflict can make the issues fester and result in destructive consequences. The couple starts to avoid having any interaction with each other. Their friends try to convince them of the mistakes they’ve made but Harry and Sally refuse to listen. At a New Year’s Eve party Harry tells Sally that he loves her and the two kiss and reconcile. If the couple had chosen a different conflict management style from the beginning they might have been together a lot longer.

Work Cited:

Eilerman, Dale. "The Use and Misuse of an Avoiding Style in Conflict Management." Mediate. Resourceful Internet Solutions, Inc., September 2006. Web. 07 March 2016.

Blog #4 Conflict Management Styles Rachel Schumpert

Blog #4 Conflict Styles in "Maid in Manhattan" by Rachel Schumpert

In the movie "Maid in Manhattan" starring Jennifer Lopez, Marisa Ventura is a maid in a beautiful hotel who mistakenly falls in love with a very famous politician.  Marisa was trying on another woman's clothes when Christopher saw her it was love at first sight.  Even though he thought he met the perfect woman of his dreams, she was convinced it could not work because of her job.  In this movie, Christopher and Marisa used the Smoothing subcategory of the Avoiding conflict style.  Smoothing is used when the parties "play down the differences and emphasize issues on which they have common ground."  Once Christopher found out who she really was, they used this style to ignore the press and all of the negative things people were saying about their relationship.  Instead, they focused on things that they had in common.  By ignoring what they both do for a living, Marisa and Chris were able to focus on their relationship and avoid the conflict that everyone else was stirring up about them.  Another form of Avoiding that took place was Protecting.  One of the reasons Marisa was scared to go public with Christopher was because she was afraid it would hurt his political race, so she thought she was protecting him by keeping everything private.  By doing all of these things, Marisa and Christopher are avoiding the conflict from surfacing by trying to work around everything.  Obviously a maid falling in love with a politician is not a very normal situation, so by handling the conflict the way they did, they were able to come to a resolution, which was their relationship going public and working out perfectly, despite the press' skepticism towards the issue.  

Conflict Styles in Trainwreck

The movie Trainwreck follows a woman named Amy through a short period in her mid-twenties. Through this time, she has many one night stands even though she has a semi-exclusive fling going on.  During these one night stands, Amy uses the competing style in order to get what she wants in bed without having to give in return. On one occasion, Amy broke her “never sleep over rule”, but she did so my using the compromising style. As the man insisted she stay the night and cuddle, Amy denied but was constantly pushed back by his persistence. When she finally agrees, she says that there needs to be a pillow between them as they sleep. She gave a little by staying the night and breaking her rule and he gave a little up by not being able to cuddle with her all night. Although compromising was found in this movie, the most highly used conflict style by Amy had to be avoidance. Amy not only avoided the men that she slept with almost immediately after, but she also avoided her break up, due to infidelity, when it happened. Even as her significant other stated that he had wanted to marry her, she changed the subject and asked if she or he could leave because she was too high to handle the conversation. This type of withdrawal can also be seen when Amy speaks her last words to her father. As she spoke to him about her new boyfriend, her father responds by doubting her new relationship’s future as well as Amy’s intentions. This lead Amy to argue with her father momentarily and then avoid the conflict by walking away from her father as he asked her not to leave. Amy’s father had been on some medication but was hoarding them which lead to his death shortly after their argument. This plays a big role in how the rest of this movie pans out, which proves that avoidance can cause a conflict to fester.         

Lauren Duncan Blog #4 - How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

Lauren Duncan

Blog #4 

Conflict Styles in Romantic Comedies

Conflict in an inevitable part of life, and we have developed various forms of conflict styles to help us reach resolutions. One of the conflict styles that I find most interesting is the “competing” style. Dale Eilerman states, “The strategy of competing as a means of gaining power and control stems from  early childhood and is reinforced throughout our years in school and college”. When reflecting on a romantic comedy that represented conflict styles well, I chose to analyze the movie “How to  Lose a Guy in 10 Days”. In this movie, a very successful advertising executive, better known as the infamous Matthew McConaughey, makes a bet with his buddies that he can make a woman fall in love with him in 10 short days. With the little information I have provided above regarding this movie, it is an obvious observation that McConaughey’s character is using a “competing” style of conflict with the woman he is to make fall in love with him. He later meets Kate Hudson in a bar and decides this is the woman he is going to pursue and make fall for him. The value of his own goals in this scenario are very high, however the value of the relationship between him and Kate are found to be exceptionally low. Ultimately, his goal falls under the “I win, you lose” category as he is primarily concerned with proving his buddies wrong and winning this bet. A competitive style is an attempt to gain power and pressure a change at the other person’s expense, which is exactly what we see taking place between McConaughey and Hudson. He is willing to do almost anything to make her fall in love with him. For example, he buys her extravagant diamonds, takes her to important events that involve his workplace, and he even takes her home to meet his family at one point in the movie. As you can imagine, Hudson begins to fall for this man and soon realizes that she is apart of a bet, not a true love story. In realizing this, she begins to create her own competitive style by pushing him away in any way possible. She embarrasses him in front of his friends, buys a dog that he hates, and begins to act incredibly clingy and immature. It can be said that she takes on the “forcing” role by slamming doors and often giving McConaughey the silent treatment. Just like we see in this movie, we can use conflict styles to make conflict situations better, or perhaps worse.

Works Cited

"The Use and Misuse of a Competing Style in Conflict Management." The Use and Misuse of a Competing Style in Conflict Management. N.p., n.d. Web. 06 Mar. 2016.

Blog #4: The Wedding Singer

Blog #4: Conflict Styles in The Wedding Singer

By: Megan Wright

This week we wanted to use different “rom-com” movies to showcase the different conflict styles found in conflict. I chose to use the movie The Wedding Singer to show a variety of conflict styles that are used throughout the film. In this movie Robbie Hart, played by Adam Sandler, is a heartbroken wedding singer who was left at the altar by his ex-fiancé. Robbie represents the kind of nice guy that always finishes last, getting ditched at his wedding, making everyone happy but himself by offering free piano and singing lessons in payments of meatballs, and helping plan a wedding for a women he is slowly falling in love with, perfectly representing the accommodating style in the different conflict styles. In the beginning of the film it was apparent after being left at the altar, he was not in it to win, he was prepared to lose and whoever was on the other end of the conflict was going to win, he set aside his own needs in order to please others. You especially see this when he agrees to go on a double date with Julie, her fiancé Glenn and Julia’s sister, when he clearly does not want to because he has fallen in love with Julia, but he is accommodating to what Julia wants in order to make her happy. This was not a good conflict style for Robbie to use, he was miserable and unhappy putting his own feelings aside to ensure the happiness of others, he should have stepped up and had both sides in mind sooner rather than later, but of course it never happens like that in the movies. In an article called, “Influence of Conflict Training on Conflict Handling Styles of College Students”, it discusses that, “improper conflict handling styles can make the existing conflict worse and bring about additional conflicts.” This was shown when Robbie and his friend decide to confront the bad guy fiancé Glenn after coming off at first as the accommodating style, he wasn’t taken seriously and it made matters worse, and the damage had already been done, Robbie was too late to help the conflict due to the fact he hadn’t spoken up sooner and taken the conflict head on. The conflict continued to fester between both Robbie and Glenn the fiancé, and Robbie and Julia until it eventually surfaced into a fight, where it looked as though Glenn was going to win and marry Julia, and continue to cheat on her. But of course, since it is a romantic comedy and all, Robbie was able to find the courage and channel his inner Shark as a Competing Style to win over Julia romantically by singing to her on an airplane, while Glenn looks like a fool and gets threatened by singer Billy Idol.

 

Works Cited

Waithaka, A., Moore-Austin, S., & Itimu, P. (2015). Influence of Conflict Resolution Training on Conflict Handling Styles of College Students [Abstract]. Research in Higher Education Journal, 28. Retrieved March 6, 2016.

Conflict Management within Family by Tyler Roden

Conflict Management within Family by Tyler Roden

When I was growing up a constant conflict I had to face was arguing with my brother, Todd. My brother, who is seven years older than me and more than twice my size, used to pick on me. We used to fight about everything: who got to ride in the front seat of the car, who mom “loved more”, and who was “adopted”.  This felt like a para-conflict since as a participant of the conflict I felt it was detrimental to our relationship. Viewing this conflict from the prospective approach my brother and I had conflicting goals which led to us exhibiting conflicting behavior (fighting one another). Seeing the conflict from a retrospective view people who might see my brother and me from a distance might say we were loving siblings but once meeting us could see that we had problems with one another. I think it was easiest to see my conflict by the destructive approach. My brother and I exhibited aggressive behavior because we viewed our conflicts from a win or lose perspective. If we had really wanted to solve our problems we would have taken a constructive approach by focusing on the issues that we could resolve easily, like who could sit in the front seat. Our conflict was continuous but my brother and I refused to view it as such. If we would have accepted our conflict as a “continuous phenomenon, conflict to be condition to be managed to be managed and maintained” we might have gotten along more.

References:

Hawes, L.C., & Smith, D. H. (1973). A critique of assumptions underlying the study of communication in conflict. Quarterly Journal of Speech, 59, 425.

Ariya Fuentes: Conflict Management within a family

Growing up conflict was most present as I was being a typical attitude filled teenage girl in high school. After our disputes, my mother and I would usually go our separate ways in order to cool off and avoid an even bigger argument. Around this time, I was quite good at avoiding conflict with my mom. On occasion there was shouting when our attempts at differentiation wouldn’t go as planned. As I grew older I learned to control the differentiation process. I was slowly able to see my mother’s side of every argument and our communication as well as our relationship grew stronger. Once I matured, conflict within my family was seldom, but when my family realizes that a conflict is forming, we are able to differentiate our positions clearly and fairly quickly. With that being said, our conflicts were usually resolved through compromises and humor. When we would work out compromises, we would make sure that the rules to the compromise were clear so that there would be no miscommunication or possibility of regression. Often we laugh at ourselves and each other rather than get increasingly agitated, which could potentially add fuel to the fire. Along with that, we bring up past situations that once had us all frustrated for a trivial reason and we laugh at them. We even come up with nicknames when someone does something “wrong” and gets into a conflict with our mom as a way to tease that person about what they did. When we turn our differences into something to laugh about, it shows that we have moved past it and that is something that I really enjoy about my family.

Conflict Management within Family: by Rachel Schumpert

My father and I typically agree on most political and social issues, but one night last semester we entered a true conflict when I expressed a view that he did not support.  While watching the Miss Universe pageant, I loved that Miss USA wanted to use her platform as the possible next Miss Universe to bring equal opportunity to women all over the world.  I believe that from a global standpoint, women are highly discriminated against and do not receive the same opportunities that men do.  My father and I are very open about discussing political issues, so I didn't think anything of bringing up this issue with him and where I stood.  Much to my surprise however, he strongly disagreed with me and it became a huge issue between us.  He accused me of becoming a "radical feminist" and said that the reason women are not given opportunities is because they simply are not capable of doing certain physical job duties that men can.  I raised the point that this is an issue far wider than just physical duties and we went on for about an hour arguing.  This conflict ended up lasting far longer than I expected, and for about a week me and my dad did not talk very much.  I can't say that we ever really resolved the conflict, it pretty much just dissolved away.  In Parents and Adolescents in Conflict by Raymond Montemayor, a generational gap is most often the reason for arising conflict between parents and kids.  This type of conflict is called generational conflict and happens when two different generations disagree on certain things because of common beliefs and values of their generation.  My father is a baby boomer and is very skeptical of feminists, so when I brought up this issue, we definitely had a generational conflict.  

References:

Montemayor, Raymond. "Parents and Adolescents in Conflict: All Families Some of the Time and Some Families Most of the Time." Journal of Early Adolescence 3 (1983): 83-103. Web. 28 Feb. 2016.

Blog #3: Communication & Conflict Management by: Megan Wright

 

Blog #3:

 

My family and I rarely have conflict, I have lucked out in having very wonderful and supportive parents, but like most families we have had our ups and downs. I think how we handled our family conflicts truly shows our family dynamic, but there has been times we may have shown our true colors. It seemed as though as I got older and started working, along with my parents working in more demanding and stressful roles, that is what was causing our conflicts. My dad is one to bring his work issues home, and not be able to let go of stress or frustration very easy. My mom is one to bottle her work frustrations up until something at home makes her boil over, in which then it is a combination of the two. I personally love to talk out my work place frustrations with my parents, but as I begin to vent I get more worked up about the work issue than I had been in the actual situation. These three different ways of handling work conflict in our home, then trickles down and causes family conflict as well. Especially in our different roles in our family, it is only the three of us so my mom stands as the stoic leader, my dad the goofy fun loving role, and me the understanding and calm family member. When one of us is experiencing conflict in work, and we bring it home and cause conflict at home it causes a rift in roles. In the article, “Differences in the Outcomes of Work and Family Conflict Between Family- and Nonfamily Businesses: An Examination of Business Founders”, it discussed the importance of these roles in conflict stating, “there will be challenges in meeting unmet role expectations and responsibilities, which result in interrole conflict.” For example, my family and I planned a nice family dinner, my dad came home that day from work fuming with conflict with his boss. He could not shake that conflict, and that caused my mom and I to have conflict with him for not being able to shake off his anger and enjoy our plans. He took on a new role from his usual goofy self, and we were not happy with it. This then transitions into how we are going to solve our family conflict caused by work conflict. The book mentions, how to evaluate some conflict is the solutions that come afterwards, and luckily after about 20 minutes of a fit, my parents and I were able to settle the work inspired family conflict and have a lovely family night out.

 

Citation:

Carr, J.C, & Hmeileski, K.M. (2015). Differences in the Outcomes of Work and Family Conflict Between Family- and Nonfamily Businesses: An Examination of Business Founders. Entrepreneurship: Theory & Practice, 39(6), 1413-1432. Doi:10.1111/etap.12174

Transference in TV Shows: By Rachel Schumpert

Transference Leadership: Greys Anatomy

In Greys Anatomy, transference leadership can be seen when analyzing Dr. Webber's relationship with his interns.  Dr. Webber is an older middle age man who was the chief of Seattle Grace Hospital for most of the show.  Although he does not have any kids with his wife, he had an affair with Ellis Grey, one of the intern's, Meredith's, mother.  When Meredith was growing up, her father was not in the picture, so Dr. Webber took on a father figure role for most of her life.  When Meredith started interning at Seattle Grace, there was a transference of the father figure relationship she had with Webber, who was now her boss.  Although this leadership style did somewhat help Meredith, it also hurt her in the sense that there was a slight conflict of interest when Webber had to choose between the interns for certain surgeries and promotions.  The transference of Dr. Webber's father like leadership was not just present with Meredith, but with all of the interns in her class.  They all looked up to him for knowledgable advice and stories from his past.  He mentored them and took care of them the way of father takes care of his own, so it was very clear that the transference relationship effected all of the doctors.

Transference (Blog #2) By: Ariya Fuentes

This past week, I was finally called back after applying to many jobs around college station. It wasn’t anywhere fancy or easy, but a job is a job and I need money.  I go to my first interview and notice that the GM who was interviewing me reminded me of my hometown. I realize now that it may have pushed me, even more so, to prove that I was worthy of the job. As the interview continued I find out that he is from my hometown and he has family that lives there now. Now if that wasn’t enough, the GM had the same name as my uncle and looked very similar to him. Immediately I felt at ease because my uncle is a very kind and soft spoken man. We concluded the interview and I was hired on the spot. Since then, I have worked Saturday and Sunday and im noticing that I feel a sense of parental guidance when he constructively criticizes me. Considering transference, I would say that this came from me calling my uncle “dad” as a joke because I was always over playing with my cousin. Along with that, I didn’t have a father figure growing up and this may have led to me considering my uncle a father figure that cared about me.. You can see how this would ignite transference in our employee/boss relationship. When he tells me what to do I don’t take it in a bossy way, I see it more as my uncle trying to help me better myself as well as the team. With that being said, I am hoping to keep this job for as long as possible, as well as keeping a positive transference with my manager and coworkers.

Transference in Modern Family

By: Daren Bradshaw

There are many TV shows that demonstrate transference in a variety of ways. One show that I felt this was obvious in was Modern Family. Phil likes to see himself as the “cool” Dad.  A dedicated family man; he always teases his wife Claire and constantly try to find ways to bond with his three kids. Phil uses a parenting method that he refers to as peerenting, a combination of talking like a peer but acting like a parent. Throughout the show this style of leadership gets his kids to not only relate to him but ultimately get everyone marching to the same beat. Phil always attends all of his kids schooling and sporting events to cheer them on and supports them. He knows that his all of his kids look up to him as a dad. In his words, “If my son thinks of me as one of his idiot friends, I’ve succeeded as a Dad.” For example, when his daughter Haley wants to have her boyfriend Dylan move in, he helps to convince Claire (Mom) to allow it. Shortly after Dylan moves in, Phil realizes that he hates the situation and can’t take it anymore. Phil then tries to convince Claire to kick Dylan out so he can remain the cool Dad. This is just one of many examples of Phil trying to be more like a brother then a Dad when it comes to his kids. Ultimately, Phil just wants them all to like him even if it means sometimes letting them run the show.

Transference in TV Shows By: Tyler Roden

Transference in The Big Bang Theory

There are a couple of examples of transference relationships that can be observed in the hit television show The Big Bang Theory. Howard Wolowitz’s father left him when he was only eleven years old, this resulted in Howard growing extremely attached to his overbearing and overweight mother. Their relationship thrived off of how much they both liked how they were needed by the other. In the beginning of the series Howard is constantly seeking out women to date; these attempts usually end in failure. You could analyze this and see his need for a woman in his life is because he cannot function properly without someone to boss him around. Recently in the series Howard has married Bernadette. Howard sees similarities between his mother and Bernadette and transfers the relationship dynamics he had with his mother onto his marriage. Another example of transference in The Big Bang Theory is Sheldon Cooper and Professor Proton. Growing up in Texas Sheldon felt unappreciated by his family because of his superior intelligence. In season 6 Sheldon explains how much he enjoyed watching Professor Proton’s show growing up, feeling that he was the only one who would understand him. Even after the Professor’s death Sheldon often envisions his ghost whenever he is in a dilemma. He needs the advice of the Professor in all things like how to live his life or whether or not he should have coitus with his girlfriend. Sheldon’s constant need for him and transference as a motherly figure always seems to be an inconvenience for the ghost Professor Proton.

Transference in TV Shows (Blog #2) Lauren Duncan

Transference in Gossip Girl

When I tried to think of a TV show that represented transference between various characters, "Gossip Girl" immediately came to mind. Gossip Girl is a TV show that is home to many privileged young adults who live in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. Gossip Girl, a mysterious blogger that the show is centered around takes turns revealing secrets that are undoubtedly meant to destroy ones reputation and sanity. Transference can be see in this show as each character at some point and time gets behind the computer screen and becomes the blogger themselves. This blog can be see as a boss in the workplace so to speak, and the characters become so invested in the blog that they are willing to do just about anything to get their hands on it and begin the destruction of revealing one's most private secrets. Each character that takes part in this blog views this creation as a friend, something they can count on and find pleasure in. Much of the damage that is produced in this blog, is a root of the problems that many individuals in this show face. For example, many have home lives that have caused them great stress and damage to their well being. For instance, one of the main characters named Dan (who we later find out was the creator of this blog) struggled with self esteem issues and doubting who he was as a person. As a result, he found meaning through this blog, despite the damaging effects that would later haunt him. I believe this show does a very well job of expressing that transference can be found in something as small as a blog and the people who post material to it. Feelings from the past can follow us not only into the workplace, but into our personal lives as well.